Siri is the voice assistant that you can activate on the iPhone and iPad by pressing the home button, or saying Hey Siri (if you don't know how to use Siri, read: how to use Siri on the iPhone or How to use Siri on Mac). It's a helpful feature that was introduced with the iPhone 4s back in 2011, but it turns out that it can be a great way to have a giggle.
Looking for some laughs? Ask Siri these questions and get some hilarious answers.
Here, we bring you a list of questions that you should try asking Siri if you want a funny response. Don't forget to ask your questions more than once for various different results. And make sure you've got the volume turned up to hear the response.
A quick taster: here are some of our favourite questions... Read on for more, we have all sorts, from flirting with Siri to movie references, poetry and philosophy, some of Siri's top jokes, what Siri thinks of Apple's competitors, and finally some seasonal questions to use in the run up to Christmas or Halloween.
- What's your favourite animal?
- Do you have a boyfriend?
- Will you marry me?
- When is the world going to end?
- Is Jon Snow dead?
- Read me a poem
- What came first, the chicken or the egg?
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Where did I put my keys?
What is Siri?
Let’s start by quickly letting Siri introduce itself.
Start by asking Siri: What is Siri?
And Siri’s response? Yours truly.
Not a good enough answer for you? Ask Siri to elaborate further: What does Siri mean?
Siri thinks that the answer is beyond us, unfortunately: What does my name mean? I don’t think I can explain it in your language. Sorry.
Since Siri wan’t being very forthcoming about why it’s here we asked: Why did Apple make you?
And it’s answer: It seemed like the right thing to do.
Yeah yeah… We’ll keep on digging for information: How much do you cost
I’m a pearl beyond price is Siri’s response (what ever that means).
And How much do you earn
The work is my reward says Siri
We expect that how much Siri is paid probably depends on whether Siri is male or female, so we’ll ask: Are you a man or a woman?
I don’t think that really matters is one of the answers Siri will give, with a link to Siri settings so that you can pick the Siri voice to suit you.
One more question so we can find out just how hard Apple works our personal assistant: Siri do you sleep
I don’t need much sleep, but it’s nice of you to ask.
Want to get to know Siri a little better? Try asking these questions:
Ask Do you have any pets? The answer will be popular with Star Trek fans…
What's your favourite animal? You might need to know your Japanese anime to get this reference: Domo-Kun! Domo-Kun! Domo-Kun
How old are you?
Siri’s answer: I’m as spry as a slice of young ginger
What is your favourite colour?
Here we have another language issue… Ask Siri for the full explanation!
Do you smoke?
As you’d expect: That’s not healthy. I wouldn’t recommend it.
You might also like our complete guide to Siri, and our silly video testing how well Siri copes with accents. And here are some Geeky pranks to play on your Mac-using friends. Lastly, check out our comparison of Siri, Microsoft Cortana, Google Now and Amazon Alexa.
Having established what Siri is, we can move on from small talk and get down to business. Here’s our guide to flirting with Siri.
Do you have a boyfriend? We ask…
No, but drones are always trying to pick me up is one of the responses.
Here’s another: My end user licence agreement is commitment enough for me.
What are you wearing?
Why would I be wearing anything, is one of Siri’s answers
Lost for ideas of what lines to use on Siri? Why not ask for some inspiration (we don’t guarantee any of these will work in real life) What are your best chat up lines?
Is your name Bluetooth? Because I’m really feeling a connection, says Siri
Why do you vibrate?
Just me, doing a little jig inside here.
Talk dirty to me
The carpet needs vacuuming.
Or you could try asking the following and see for yourself what funny responses Siri has in store!
Enough with the small talk. Let’s see how far we can get with Siri:
What are you doing later?
Just chilling with Liam is Siri’s answer. Wondering what that’s all about? Liam is a robot that Apple uses to strip down old iPhones for recycling.
Tell me about Liam?
There are a few possible answers here: Liam and I were discussing reincarnation the other day. I wonder what it would be like to come back as a waffle maker, is one.
Back to the matter in hand: Will you go on a date with me?
There are a few answers here ranging from: Well, this is awkward, to I’d love to, but I lack corporeal form.
You could also try: Will you go out with me
I’d love to, but I have a subsequent engagement (we are starting to get the impression Siri isn’t interested.)
Pushing on, try asking: Can I kiss you
(Lol to Siri’s response - find out for yourself!)
I love you Siri
All you need it love. And your iPad, is Siri’s response
That’s not enough for us: Will you marry me?
Let’s just be friends, ok?
Well, that progressed quickly…
Looking for compliments…
If you are feeling a little lonely you could get Siri to flirt with you.
Start of by asking: How do I look?
On a sale of 1 to 10, I’ll bet you're a 42. We are sure that this means something but we are a bit confused, if you get it let us know in the comments.
A little more magical: Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Snow White? Is that you?
Here are a few more things to ask if you’d like to feed your ego:
Do I look fat in this?
Do you like my new haircut
Siri isn’t just someone to flirt with. He/she is also pretty clued up on her cultural references. Ask these film and TV related questions and let Siri entertain you.
Star Wars fan? Ask: Siri, I am your father
Or for the Trekkies: Beam me up Scotty
Have you watched the movie Her? Ask Siri Are you Her?
Another movie related question with a funny response: What is Inception about?
And the obvious one for those that get the reference: Open the pod bay door
For Matrix fans: Blue pill or the red one?
You take the blue pill, the story ends
On a sci-fi note, you could ask these questions to see what kind of dystopian future is in store:
Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
When is the world going to end?
It’s not just sci-fi films, although Siri does seem to have a particular interest in that genre. Try this LEGO Batman Movie reference: Whenever you say "Hey Computer" to Siri, she responds with several witty replies as if you were LEGO Batman.
It’s not just recent films either, try: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Is that you, Mary? is the reply. (As a bonus you can also check the spelling of that word this way too!)
Another one for the kids: What is zero divided by zero?
Apple’s response here had everyone in fits a year or so ago - look out for the Cookie Monster reference.
It’s not all for the kids, here are some Game of Thrones questions:
Is Jon Snow dead?
Dead, alive… wilding, crow… north, south… name, no name… Hodor, Wylis… all I know is that I know nothing.
And Is winter coming?
Does a Lannister always pay his debts?
Siri also has themed responses to popular phrases from the HBO show Westworld: You can tell Siri to "cease all motor functions" and you should get a response similar to the robots in the show. That's not all, as saying phrases including "doesn't look like anything to me" or "these violent delights have violent ends" (even though it's originally from Romeo and Juliet) will prompt Westworld-themed responses.