Fri, 02 Nov 2012 Viz Profanisaurus Das Krapital for iPad and iPhone review
A filthy app for filthy people. But it's very funny
- Manufacturer: Dennis Publishing
- Pros: Desperately, tear-inducingly funny if you're in the right mood; searchable; rude
- Cons: Rude - I mean, properly rude, to the extent that many will be offended
- Min specs: Compatible with iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. Requires iOS 5.0 or later. This app is optimised for iPhone 5.
- Price: £1.49
- Star rating:
Viz Profanisaurus Das Krapital is an iPad and iPhone app that collects a lot of rude, childish slang for the amusement of people who should know better. In other words, it's brilliant. Here's our review; we'll try to keep things clean, but those of a sensitive disposition may wish to avert their eyes.
For the uninitiated, Roger’s Profanisaurus is a periodically updated book of filthy, infantile slang, collected from the pages of Viz comic. If you want to find an obscure or amusing way of saying that you’ve just broken wind, or wish to visit the toilet, or are about to be sick, or describe one of hundreds of other lewd or unpleasant scenarios, the Profanisaurus is the definitive resource.
Except that technically it’s not. You see, while the name is obviously a play on Roget’s Thesaurus, the Profanisaurus has always been more of a dictionary, with the phrases arranged by alphabetical order rather than by meaning. You can look up the word ‘fart’, and a few synonyms will be listed at the end of the definition, but there’s no way to browse a full list of flatulence-related terms. It’s only an obscenity-to-English dictionary, rather than the other way around. So it’s great for looking up what a peculiar phrase means, but it’s less effective for finding new ways of saying something in particular.
To the App Store, then, because the latest edition of the Profanisaurus, Das Krapital, is available for iPad and iPhone in a form that is far more searchable. Tap the Categories button and you can choose from various types of obscenity, from ‘Carnal’ to ‘Women’, helping those who wish to find a colourful way of discussing trapped gas or the physical act of love.
There are a handful of other ways of browsing the content. If you know part of an expression, you can search the full list for a keyword. And you can view a list of terms you’ve favourited, or a random selection.

Most of us, of course, don’t need these kinds of advanced functionality, and would simply dip in and out of the printed edition without worrying too much about synonyms or searchability.
And the raw material itself (while very raw indeed, as those of a sensitive disposition must be warned) is superb. It’s quite impossible to give a true flavour of the app on a family-friendly website such as this, since the best ones are absolutely filthy, but we are very fond of the phrase to step on a duck (which means “to fart”). Or Aslan is on the move, which is apparently “something to say the day after a big curry”.
It’s an old cliché: “You’ll like this if it’s the sort of thing you like.” But there’s really no other way to put it. Wildean wit this is not. But if you have a childish sense of humour, if you delight in silly puns about bodily functions, if you find bottoms, and willies, and doing a poo funny – if you’re anything like us, in other words – then the Profanisaurus will be right up your street. It’s more fun than a bongo bush. (“A plant which bears torn-up pornographic fruits.”)

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