Once again it is time to play: Willfully Obtuse or Really That Clueless?! Why is it always so hard to tell?

Writing for Business Insider, James Cook goes all-in on the police's side of the story on smartphone encryption. Surely in this environment of concern about government spying on citizens and the militarization of the police, there's nothing to be lost by taking the anti-privacy, pro-police side. That's just common sense. After all, if you have nothing to hide...

"POLICE: Apple Will Become The Phone Of Choice For The Pedophile'" (tip o' the antlers to ghibby!)

You mean it isn't already? (Cue Business Insider piece on how Apple's doomed because it's missing out on key markets.)

Apple's PR nightmare on the issue of warrants for iPhones just keeps getting worse.

Seriously. He wrote that. Apple published a letter in which it pledges to protect its customers information and Business Insiders Cook (and other BI punchlines) think this is a PR "nightmare" for Apple.

What do you even do with something like that? Print it out and light it on fire, just to watch it burn?

Actually, that's not a bad idea.

Speaking to the Washington Post, [chief of detectives for Chicago's police department] John J. Escalante said, "Apple will become the phone of choice for the pedophile. The average pedophile at this point is probably thinking, I've got to get an Apple phone."

That is some world-class hissy fit throwing. John Gruber said it best:

The pedophile card is pretty much the last resort for these law enforcement types who feel entitled to the content of our digital devices. Fear mongering with bogeymen and an appeal to base emotions.

Privacy is a protected right in this country. We shouldn't have to be told we're siding with the pedophiles because members of law enforcement want their jobs to be easier. It's supposed to be hard to overcome someone's right to privacy.

Previously, James Comey, the director of the FBI, said "What concerns me about this is companies marketing something expressly to allow people to place themselves beyond the law."

Is having a private conversation also placing yourself "beyond the law"?

"Really, we'd prefer it if everything everywhere were recorded and we had full access to it. Also, don't look us in the eye. We're like wolves and we consider that threatening. Thanks much. Love, Law Enforcement."

The point being, this is a PR issue rather than a tech issue at the moment: Apple's new stance on privacy and encryption has gone down poorly with law enforcement...

Who cares? Is it somehow illegal? No. Do customers like it? Yes. Does Cook mention that side of this PR "nightmare"? Hahahahaha nooooooo.

Not even a giant government data collection scandal is enough to overcome the "APPLE FAIL" glasses worn by the intrepid band of writers at Business Insider!

Really, how completely backwards could you get this?