Boy, those analysts who said you should avoid Apple's stock earlier in the year sure turned out to be right, didn't they? If you recall, Apple's shares were in the mid-$500 range. Since then they cratered to a lowly $114.

Could these analysts and pundits have been any more prescient? It's almost uncanny that...

Sorry?

What's that, you say?

"Stock split"?

7-for-1?

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhh.

Oh, then that wasn't right at all. Good lord, no. The Macalope's not a math major but division does still work the same way, right?

Yeah, actually it does and Apple's stock continues to tread into new highs despite the fact the the company has inexplicably not taken the sage advice of analysts.

Let's go back to April when Forbes "contributor" Peter Cohan gave us "Four Reasons To Avoid Apple Stock".

[rubs hooves together like he's diving into a pile of sweet, leafy alfalfa]

Number one reason?

Tim Cook

It seems crazy to think about it now, but suggesting Apple should dump Cook was a popular sentiment for a while. Admittedly, it was only popular among cranks, the deranged, and Forbes contributors (and those who are all three).

In fairness to them, Cook is, genetically speaking, not Steve Jobs. It's true. If you were to take DNA from Tim Cook and from Steve Jobs and compare them, you would find that they are not identical. And someone he's still Apple CEO. It's inexplicable.

Does Apple think we're stupid? Are we clowns to them? Do we amuse them?

Pundits like Cohan lamented how Apple's stock fell from its high in 2012 under Cook's watch, all the while ignoring the fact that the stock was still up from when Cook took over from Steve Jobs. Now it's more than doubled since Cook took over in August of 2011. Well, sure, but think of how much it would have gone up had they fired Cook and replaced him with Jon Rubinstein, right? Uh-huh.

Well, unlike Cohan, at least David Trainer was right. He had a target for AAPL of $240 which whoops, nope, that's a pre-split target, if you can believe it.

What did Trainer see as one of the key pressures on Apple?

If Amazon's phone is as well received as the rest of its hardware offerings--and we expect that it will be--then investors can anticipate continued downward pressure on AAPL's share price.

That would be the phone that Amazon can't even sell for a dollar. The phone that was so "well received" that Amazon had to take a $170 million writedown.

You know, the Macalope doesn't even have to write any jokes for this one. The "analysis" is just so funny on its own.

A lot gets made of the irrational views of Apple fans. But this stuff beats it hands down.

Read more Macalope!

The Macalope: Free advice. Or: Apple gets what it pays for

The Macalope: The Apple doom is coming, it's just a question of when

The Macalope: Bendgate forever. Or: Turns out aluminium is still bendable

The Macalope: A watched pot: of watches and imagined delays

The Macalope: Pollvertising. Or, the real reason behind silly Apple-related polls