The Macalope managed to sneak in the first column of the year last week, but now he is literally (by which he means figuratively) in 2014's elevator, pushing the up button. So let us in fact get this party started.
And it isn't a party until someone says Apple's future looks troubled.
Writing for the International Business Times, Reissa Su tells us "Apple Inc Stock Receives Wells Fargo Downgrade; Others Maintain Buy Rating as Apple Enters Year of Innovation'" (tip o' the antlers to Kontra).
Apple Inc shares dropped 1.12 per cent on Jan. 2 ...
And this is worth writing an article about because Apple.
Wells Fargo has become skeptical of Apple Inc because of gross margin concerns.
Oh, no! Not gross margins! Those are the Macalope's favorite margins!
Despite the downgrade rating of Apple stock, [Wells Fargo analyst Maynard Um] continues to be positive of the company's gross margins ...
Skeptical, concerned, but also positive. Maynard Um is complicated.
Based on historical trends and figures, Mr Um has observed that Apple Inc's gross margins decline after the company releases a new iPhone version like the iPhone 5.
With those figures in mind, Apple's gross margins may suffer with the iPhone 6 launch believed to be within 2014.
They may suffer ... because of the iPhone 6. You know, historical evidence is nice, but anyone who really believes that a Wells Fargo analyst has the slightest real idea how the iPhone 6 will affect Apple's margins should not legally be allowed to invest their money in the stock market because of mental competency concerns. You could conceive and have a baby before we actually see an iPhone 6. (Note: The Macalope is not endorsing that particular course of action. Your mileage may vary.--Ed)
Aside from gross margins, another significant concern mentioned by Wells Fargo is Apple's limited market opportunity.
Other than the China Mobile deal and whatever else Apple comes up with this year.
Despite the Wells Fargo downgrade, 37 analysts still give Apple's stocks a Buy rating.
Which is why it's so vital that we report about the one guy who downgraded it and how it minimally affected Apple's stock and then get that in the headline and the lede.
Just checking Apple's stock price today, it's up almost three points, so the Macalope looks forward to the Business Times's follow up story on hahahahaha of course not.