You know, sometimes a game can have all the right ingredients, cool weapons, Nazis, blood-sucking vampires in lingerie, and it still doesn’t quite work. The game in question is BloodRayne. In BloodRayne, you play a sexy vampire woman who struts about in skimpy knickers. She has all manner of blades and firearms, but is rubbish when it rains – she starts to fizz when in contact with water. You can tell this game is aimed at teenage boys, as the sexy vampire characters have figures that make Barbie look anatomically correct. Frankly, if you met a real person that stood over six-feet tall sporting a 16-inch waist you would either be at a freak show, a drag show, or a fetish club. Either way – perhaps it’s my age – I felt like she needed a cardigan and a bowl of hot soup. [It’s your age – sub ed.] When it comes to feeding, BloodRayne is particularly gory. Since agent BloodRayne is a vampire, instead of the usual power-ups, such as medicine packs, BloodRayne needs to feed on Blood. Not to worry though – there are plenty of deserving zombified humans and Nazis to drain. BloodRayne will leap on any unsuspecting mark, even crusty swamp dwelling zombies, and feast on their blood. The sucking noises blood are sure to have your mum wondering what is going on in your bedroom, so beware. Gameplay is fair, but there are some aspects that are lacking. It uses the Tomb Raider method of pointing your guns for you, so there’s no need to aim. However, it’s more fun to hack and slash with your blades. You get more powers as the game progresses, so your attacks are more damaging, which is needed because the bad guys get stronger. Eventually, you’ll meet a boss – a super baddie that denotes that you are about to move to the next level. I’m not sure if I like bosses; they’re a bit Sonic the Hedgehog. In a world where games are becoming more realistic with games such as Medal of Honor, bosses seem to be a bit old fashioned. I usually play games on easy, because life its too short, and I need to get the review finished. Even on easy, I was running into trouble with bosses. So I did what any one would. Instead of attacking the Nazi Bishop for the 20th time and getting killed again, I cheated. Even with cheats, like God Mode, it can be difficult to beat a boss, so I would definitely have given up without cheating. That pretty much sums up the problem with this game: if you need to cheat to finish it (and I’m no slouch when it come to shoot ’em ups), then it isn’t a great game. Having near-impossible-to-kill bosses makes for hours of gameplay – but of the frustrating kind, not quality gaming. One final note: the minimum hardware requirements of BloodRayne are the highest I’ve ever seen in a game. You will need at least 2GB of hard disk and a minimum of a 733MHz G4 processor.


If you’re 14 and like to look at ladies in their underwear, go and look under your dad’s bed. If you’re looking for a gore-fest with guns, blades, Nazis, and vampires then BloodRayne is an option – but not a great one. Knickers!

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