What technology do you own?
I have a mobile phone to talk and text, a record player, a wristwatch and some friends I meet face to face. They say the iPhone does everything brilliantly except phoning, so I’m ahead of the game talking to people.
What devices could you not live without?
My DAB radio by my bed. I also have a record player my brother gave me that allows you to transfer things, but I don’t know how that works, or have anything to transfer anything to. But I do play vinyl on it.
If someone offered you an iPad or an iPhone, which would you go for?
I think I’d take the iPhone first. I like the iPad but it’s a bit too big for your pocket – unless you’re a clown.
Did the new iPhone 4S not tempt you?
I was on the edge of my seat… But let’s wait for a few more numbers. I reckon by the iPhone 12S, I might be ready.
Is there pressure to be in the iDevice crowd?
I’ve got a totally rubbish Nokia phone and I was even bullied into getting that. My promoter said you’ve got to get a mobile so we can contact you. I said ok, I’ll buy a mobile for this month, but then I’m going to destroy it with a mallet. But then I got addicted to texting.
Technology must help spread the Tim Vine word, surely?
I don’t have the internet at home. I pick up my emails at the local library or at an internet café. I tweet using my Nokia. It costs nine pence. I send it off, but I can’t see what replies I get.
What sort of things do you Tweet?
I say things like, “I’m in a taxi, looking out as the trees go by. It’s frightening, we’ve just parked.”
At Edinburgh, you interviewed members of the public. Is it as easy as you made it look?
With the public it’s one surprise after another. Someone told a story about their credit card being stolen by a badger while camping. There’s no punch line. I’m like Basil Brush: they say something, I react.
What’s on your new DVD, The Joke-Amotive?
It’s going to have lots of jokes on it and lots of one-liners and some silly songs and occasionally, I pick out props from a bag and do jokes with them. Then I do more songs and silly jokes. Then I’ll finish.
What else have you got coming up?
Another series of Not Going Out, which we start filming in November. Then I might put some little sketches on the internet, rather than waiting for TV people to go, “We’ll make your shows.”
So you might ask for the web for Christmas?
It’s an idea. I’ll write it down as a possible.
What’s the funniest gag you’ve heard recently?
I have to do one of my own. Give me a subject…
Let’s talk about Apple.
Saw some frozen Apples. They were hardcore.
Tim’s desert island discs
1 Phil Harris and Bruce Reitherman - The Bare Necessities
2 Jess Conrad - This Pullover
3 William Shatner - That’s Me Trying
4 Brook Benton - Rainy Night In Georgia
5 Prefab Sprout - Goodbye Lucille #1
6 John Foxx - Metal Beat
7 Liberace - You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
8 Big Mama Thornton - Hound Dog
9 Johnny Cash - Belshazar
10 The Rah Band - The Crunch
11 Chuck Berry - Nadine
12 Elvis Presley - Mama Liked The Roses
13 The Lotus Eaters - The First Picture Of You
14 Nervous Norvus - Transfusion
15 Little Richard - Keep A Knockin
“If you listen to You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, you’ll realise there’s nothing on this list that could qualify as a guilty pleasure after that. It’s quite extraordinary. I like ‘talking songs’.
“Prefab Sprout’s Goodbye Lucille gets the most playtime, in my car. My favourite part of every song is the beginning of the second verse: you’re too far from the end for it to be over; you’re far enough from the beginning to be right in the middle of it; and if you like the song, it’s the first moment everything you like about that song is about to start all over again. On this particular track, there’s this lovely string note that comes in and breaks your heart.”
The Joke-amotive DVD is out on Nov 21st and is available to pre-order now