“One day, I would like to live in an Apple LifePod.” That’s one of the Apple hopes of TV presenter, author and cult leader Danny Wallace. “I bet an Apple mobile would be lovely”, Danny wonders, a tad more realistically.
Danny has a long history of Apple use stretching back to his childhood, being the computer of choice since he was seven years old and “my dad brought home an Apple Classic from work. I kept crashing it by playing games on it and losing all my dad's work.”
Despite that the Apple Classic is still in use at the Wallace house, “My mum now uses it to write articles for her local paper. It just won't pack up and stop. The Classic, I mean, not my mum”.
The Apple bug had bitten and Danny “went straight from that Classic to a Mac of my own – an LCII. PCs just never seemed like an option. Macs were so obviously friendlier”.
Danny has owned and used a number of Apple Macs over the years, “From Classic to LCII to the earliest iMac – which only stopped working last year, when the screen popped. I then bought a new iMac from the people in the flat downstairs, who turned out to be Australian lesbian con-artists. The Mac was about as fast as Rik Waller. I then bought myself a new model iMac, and an iBook, because I was feeling flash.”
With such a track history it is unsurprising that Danny considers himself a bit of a Mac-evangelist, attempting to persuade friends to ‘go Mac’, saying that “they all get there in the end. Eventually, they all buckle”.
Despite being such a long-standing user of Apple computers, Danny doesn’t use them for much more than “Writing, emailing, Internet – the usual stuff.” Also his Apple-life is strangely free of peripherals, “None. My Mac is pure and chaste. Oh, hang on, no – I've got an iPod.
“Oh yes, the 40GB version. I have no idea why I bought the most expensive one. I only have about six CDs. I suppose it is because my mate Dom has the 20GB one, and he hates it when anyone has anything better than his.”
Danny’s iPod is currently loaded with albums from bands such as Powderfinger, Franz Ferdinand and Snow Patrol. “I didn't buy any of these albums – they belong to my girlfriend, who has much more knowledge than me about music. She whacks 'em on, I listen to 'em. What a team.”
WWWhat's all that about?
Danny has been on the net for just under a decade and has found that it has quickly come around to his thinking. “I’ve been online since 1995 when I was asked to write for an Internet magazine. Someone had to tell me to type in ‘http://’ and then ‘www’, and I decided there and then that the Internet was too cumbersome and I would probably never get used to remembering all that rubbish at the start of URLs. I was right and the Internet stopped the following year. Didn't it?”
This ability to get the Internet to bend to his will has also led to Danny being the leader of his own cult, the subject of his last best-seller. “The last book I wrote was called Join Me, and it was about how I started a cult – by accident. I am now the Leader of a collective of nearly 9,000 people, who call me their Leader and do my bidding every Friday”.
Danny describes Join Me as “People from all over the world who have dedicated themselves to a simple cause, to perform random acts of kindness to complete strangers, each and every Friday. We call these Fridays 'Good Fridays', and our aim is to make every Friday a Good Friday. Visit www.join-me.co.uk for more information…”
When it comes to other sites on the net, Danny has become a great fan of weblogs, the online diaries that have exploded in popularity over the past year. “I regularly enjoy the blogs of self-deluded minor celebrities – I can't get enough of the pointless self-congratulation and the ache they have to be seen as something they're not. At the moment, nancycartwright.com is my favourite stop. She is the voice of Bart Simpson. I honestly cannot wait for the next newsletter to her fans”.
Apart from the iPod, Danny has yet to make his Mac the centre of his ‘digital lifestyle’, ignoring innovations such as the iLife software range. “I like having them there, but I've not had the chance to use them properly yet – mainly because I hate wires and I go all red and blustery when I have to figure out what goes where. Obviously, with USB that's not such a big deal, but it is a problem I have had since childbirth. Maybe my umbilical cord was in the wrong place, or something. Which would explain the bellybutton on my bum”.
Despite Danny’s early experiences of crashing his dad’s Apple Classic, he doesn’t have such trouble with his current models. “It hasn’t, as yet, lost any of the pages of my new book. I have a PC-biased friend who recently lost an entire novel. I bought him a copy of your magazine and told him to look at the pretty pictures. Soon he will be One Of Us…”
To find out more about Danny, his work and cult leader status visit his website at www.dannywallace.com Danny is currently hosting a Sky One series called Conspiracies every Thursday at 9pm.