It's no secret that Apple drives Internet traffic. This is why every new smartphone is hailed as an iPhone killer, every new laptop a MacBook killer and every new pair of socks an iPod socks killer. But you hate to see this old trick used by sites you respect.

Writing for Re/code, Ina Fried says Watch Out Apple, Samsung. The Powerful $75 Smartphone Is Coming. (tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

This is pretty disappointing from Fried and Re/code. Unnecessarily jamming Apple into headlines isn't their usual fare.

Hiding behind the headlines of yet another record-shattering sales quarter for Apple iPhones and the never-ending procession of Samsung ads is a movement taking shape that could tilt the balance of power in the global mobile industry over the next few years.

We've already seen this game play out. Cheap phones come out, Apple continues to sell more iPhones. Why? Because Apple doesn't compete at the low end of the market. Fried knows this. Re/code knows this. Crazy Fred outside the 7-Eleven knows this. You have to get really far down Bonkers Avenue before you find someone who doesn't know this. Like to the Blodget District or even way down where it crosses Forbes Contributor Way before it goes over the river and into an unending void of literally nothing at all.

Although it remains an emerging trend in America, it has already taken hold in larger markets such as China, where Xiaomi often sells out of each production run of its affordable but powerful devices in just seconds.

And we all know how Apple is struggling in China, what with its mere 70 percent growth dkadskljadfoiajdf;lkjadsf.

Companies like Samsung, which offered these models, were able to woo consumers to trade up to models with better cameras and bigger screens--at higher prices.

"People don't give a s* about their bulls* specs any more," said Kirt McMaster, CEO of open Android software maker Cyanogen. "The disruption now is the price point, end of story."

What?! The CEO of a company that makes software specifically for cheap Android phones says cheap Android phones will rule?! Well. Surely we need no other proof than this that premium phones are dead. Plus, the guy said "end of story." Pretty sure that means the story is over.

Next up: Bears explain why bees should vacate their hives and just "give them the honey, already."

Maybe people bought high-end Samsung phones for specs, but that's not why they buy iPhones.

So, let's see who else Re/code decided to quote in this piece. Oh, guess what, it's Xiaomi's President, Bin Lin. Well, that pretty much covers it, then. We've heard from both sides: cheap software makers and cheap hardware makers. Case = closed.

You have to get down to paragraph 15, the second to the last, before anything in your life will make sense again.

It's also worth noting that Apple has managed to buck the trend, enjoying record sales without having to introduce significantly less expensive models.

Buuuuut, we had to get them in the title and the lede because... well, you know.

Shorter Re/code:


Shorter Macalope:

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