If I had super powers it would make reporting Apple news so much easier.
This revelation came to me yesterday evening when I was discussing which super power I would like to have with some of my colleagues (we share many of these kinds of discussions in our local drinking establishments of an evening).
I’d already decided on my super power of choice (invisibility) when Neil (from Digital Arts) pointed out that it could be particularly handy when trying to find out the truth behind Apple rumours.
Another handy power would be flight. That way I could fly over to San Francisco, put on my cloak of invisibility (like Harry Potter), and haunt the halls of Apple’s Infinite Loop campus gathering juicy tidbits of information.
While this would be an effective way to news gather, it would take up rather a lot of my time so I’d need to be able to stop time too. I’ve always thought that the problem with being able to stop time is that you’d get very tired – your day’s would last more than 24 hours and you’d probably get quite jet lagged.
Perhaps a better option that flight would be teleporting. This option was suggested by Andy our new production editor (read his blogs here). Andy also suggested turning into the Incredible Hulk, but I’ve not yet worked out how this might help me gather news (although it could effectively frighten off the competition).
It would also be handy to be able to read people’s minds. How brilliant to be able to read the mind of the person you are interviewing and catch them out about the things that they aren’t telling you. Of course, the trick would be getting them to confirm the information they were thinking of, but at least you’d have a head start.
My colleague Zoe on PC Advisor suggested that the ability to morph would be a good skill to have. Perhaps I could take on the form of Steve Jobs and ask one of my minions to give me an update on whatever project they are working on.
If I acquire any of these powers soon I'll be sure to let you know how it goes.